Teh Wozzinator

Thanks for the comments! Especially the good ones... I've added a new stanza in and edited another. I'm working on the one stanza that was awkward. ("Without a second glance ...

Okay, here's my second full length poem. And by the way, the character isn't mentioned much, but all of this are his thoughts on the subject...anyways, begin. HUMAN NATURE I ...

I realize that "Sharks" isn't much like the others, but I'm keeping it up anyways.... Thanks for all the good comments! lol And TickledPink... Do you have a comment on ...

So here's the original version of the poem: War (temporary title): a Poem In the midst of a war, I knelt alone, And felt a friend warrior’s hand… ‘Twas cold ...

Haha, wow, thanks! But about your haiku... Your second line is eight syllables, it's supposed to be seven! lol! Get rid of the "so" in it, and yours would be ...

There wasn't really any rhythm... but this was awesome! I agree that somehow, it seemed really good, even if it was different. Really cool. No edits! Keep writing, definitely!! Teh ...

The only thing I like here was "psychotic and mortifyingly moronic". XD That was hilarious. Other than that... It wasn't very good. Your repetitions were...annoying. The rhythm was terrible. And ...

Okay, this is a collection of my haikus. I was going to put up limericks and poems as well, but I realized that I’d already posted them up. (Willie the ...

Oh man... Other people got here before me, so I guess it's pretty much useless to write a crit that's exactly like two others, eh? Well, when part two comes ...

Hi Woz! The first thing I noticed was your rhyming scheme, and overall, I think it kind of weakened the impact of the poem. The rhymes are too far apart ...

Hey... Sorry, I seriously haven't had time for a good edit recently, but one thing I did notice was that in "Derrin’s next sweeping blow, sent Sillon’s sword flying." you ...

Haha, Yazra at work? That'd be kinda cool. I like the story, but I do agree Chapter one isn't as good as the prologue. No time for a good review, ...

Okay, I edited this, renamed it, and made it more about the characters thoughts towards war, instead of just random things about this battle. I've also made it a lot ...

Thank you!

My edits in bold. Iongo (ine-goo) Teslarhi (tess-lar-ee) Tell me what you think. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- King Iongo knelt down to the grub